


Will Regis Ever Grow Up?

by fourtypercent



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Skinny Dipping, Summer, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourtypercent/pseuds/fourtypercent
Summary: Regis is back at it with all the shenanigans. No one can stop the King, not even Clarus.





	Will Regis Ever Grow Up?

**Author's Note:**

> Work is loosely inspired by Jon Campling's Twitter (actor and model, indeed! -winky emoji- For an older dood he's dayum hawt! <3) and some of paintcoon's headcanons on Tumblr.

Regis Goes Swimming

The air conditioning was weak. He sat, no, marinated in his ceremonial robes. He had a cool glass of water that was sweating just as much as he was on the table beside him. It sat in a ring of condensation, if he poked at it, it might scoot around on the table. One quick sip and he knew the water betrayed him, it was now warm. 

Someone was speaking near the end of the long table, he heard the voice, he blankly looked in their direction but didn't take in a word. The muffled words assaulted his ears, their words made no sense to him. He ran his fingers through his hair, but they got caught up in his diadem. He took it off, placed it noisily on the hardwood surface and then using both of his hands, he gave his head a good scratch. 

“Everything alright, Your Majesty?” a concerned council member asked.

He sat back in his high backed chair, he finally heard and understood words, “Huh? Oh. Umm, nothing, I'm fine. I'd like to wrap this up” He placed his crown back in place.

The session wrapped up not long after they hashed out a few more items. Regis rose from his seat, everyone got up with him. They left, Regis was alone with Clarus. 

“Old friend, I fancy a dip,” the King walked out of the room.

“I'll have the towels heated and waiting for you,” Clarus stated.

They entered an elevator, Regina pressed the top floor button, the opposite way to the Royal Pool.

Clarus cleared his throat, “Umm, the Pool is the other way”

“I know. I said I fancy a dip, I didn't say where. You know not to assume with me”

“Because if I assume, it..”

“Makes an ass out of you and me” they said together. Regis was smiling, Clarus frowned. 

When will Regis grow up?

Never.

They got out of the elevator when it reached the top most observation deck. The fish Noctis caught swam within the giant tank unaware of the King’s intentions.

The heat pressed down of the two men, it was cooler at the top of the tower than in the stuffy council room, at least here they enjoyed the minute breeze. 

The King removed his robes and let them hit the floor. He walked close to the tank and removed more of his clothes. He kicked off his shoes, scuffing them in the process and tossed his jacket to a table that was nearby. 

“Clarus, why must I wear so many layers?”

“Because being King is a burden, so the clothes must be, too”

“As my son would say, ‘It sucks’.” he tossed his shirt over a planter full of blooming flowers. He undid his belt and dropped it as he walked close to the tank. He draped his crown over a candle stick.

“What do you think you're doing, Reggie?”

“Swimming with the fishes,” he pointed to the tank like it was the most obvious thing. He worked his dress pants off.

“I don't think you know the true meaning of that,” Clarus began to worry that the King lost his marbles. 

“I know what it means, but I don't care. It's quiet up here, and no one can see me if I decide to skinny dip.” With that, he pulled his unders down to his ankles and kicked them away. 

Naked as the day he was born, he climbed into the tank. The cool water enveloped him, he sighed in satisfaction. The fishes darted away from the nude king as he floated.

Through the glass, Clarus could see everything, all his scars, his minimal body hair, his … “Really Reg? At least put on some trunks. What if someone sees you?”

“Let them,” he dunked his head under the water, surfaced and made sure his hair was out of his eyes. “Hey Clarus, I'm a mermaid!”

Not caring that Clarus was watching or not, Regis swam to the bottom of the tank and picked up two shells and covered his pecks. He swayed back and forth underwater, Clarus just shook his head.

Regis dropped the shells and poked at one of the fishes as it swam by. A turtle poked its head out to investigate. It swam close to Regis and nibbled on his butt cheek. 

Regis swatted at the turtle and quickly surfaced. He scurried out of the tank and walked to Clarus as he covered the turtle attack (butt nibble).

“Have that turtle executed! I'm not a meal, you traitor!” he yelled back at the tank.

Clarus managed to get towels to the observation deck while Regis goofed off, and offered the king a towel. He draped it over his shoulders leaving himself totally exposed. The turtle bite bled a bit. 

“You can't execute it, it's a harmless being,” Clarus crossed his arms. 

“I'll have you know, it attacked me!” Regis turned cheek and pointed at the bite.

“Use a Potion and stop being such a baby,” Clarus pulled a potion out of the Armiger and gave it to the king. 

“Kiss it better?” 

“I'm not kissing your ass, Regis”

“You say that now. Shall I summon The Brat?” 

“Cor won't kiss it either. No one will, take your potion, and get dressed. You're meeting with Noctis soon.”

“Noctis would understand. Can I have a bandaid?”

“What are you, like, ten years old?” Clarus scolded him. Regis took the towel off his shoulders, put the potion on the ground and toweled his hair. When he was done and removed the towel his hair stood up on one side. 

“Fine. Hold still,” Clarus pulled a First Aid kit from the Armiger, rummaged through it and cleaned the bite. He finished up by putting a pink bandaid on it. 

“Please kiss it better?” the king pleaded.

Clarus stood up and deadpanned, “No”

“Please? I use to kiss your boo-boos better all the time!”

“Fuck..” Clarus took Regis by his surprisingly boney shoulders, turned him around and squatted down. “The quicker you do it the quicker it's done,” he pumped himself up.

Clarus closed his eyes, heard the elevator ding, leaned in close and heard “Clarus?” but it wasn't from Regis.

He looked over as his face collided with Regis’ ass and saw Prince Noctis. 

“Hello, son! This isn't what you think it is.”

“I need to go..” Noctis walked backwards to the elevator and blindly palmed for the button.

“Remember, we have dinner plans!” Regis called out as Noctis disappeared from their view.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'd die if Jon reads this... (SUPER EMBARRASSING IF HE DOES!) -dies of shame-
> 
> More shenanigans to come!


End file.
